Tips For Restarting Your Self-Care Routine
I love a good self-care routine as much as the next person. Putting myself first and focusing on my self-care has been an important and healing part of my postpartum journey. It helps me feel grounded, centered and gives me the mental space I need to navigate the ups and downs of the unexpected challenges of life.
When I enter a busy season, I always focus on holding on to my self-care routine. However, when stress starts to creep in, taking time for myself is the first thing I compromise. Routines start to unravel slowly, and before you know it, I feel like I cannot catch up or get back on track.
Once I am off track, it can seem overwhelming amid the other stressors and commitments in life to reprioritize self-care. I recently went through a busy season, and I am just now navigating my way back to a healthy balance. As I navigate back, I want to share some tips I’ve found helpful along the way.
Tips for Restarting Your Self-Care Routine
Define It: If you consult the internet, you may be left with the impression that self-care means chocolate, face masks, long baths and hot yoga. Now, don’t get me wrong, all of those things sound amazing, and if that is your definition of self-care, I’m not here to shame! However, for me, those aren’t the only ways to define self-care. I see self-care as something to integrate into daily life, a reminder to breathe and be present. Sometimes, it’s getting up 10 minutes early to drink a cup of coffee. Other times, it’s a DIY face scrub in the shower. It seems indulgent to me, but it’s really just hitting the pause button and breathing for a few minutes.
Yourself: I am a huge Gretchen Rubin fan, and her Four Tendencies framework has really helped me level-up my self-care routine. (If you haven’t taken her Four Tendencies quiz - you can find it here.) I am an Obliger, which means I struggle to meet my own expectations of myself, but readily meet others’ expectations of me. How does this tie into restarting my self-care routine? In previous attempts in setting a self-care routine, the only person holding me accountable was me, so I would overcommit and underdeliver to myself. With the Obliger framework in mind, I’ve been able to build in outer accountability. I have a weekly call with my best friend (and almost daily text check-ins), and we talk heavily about our self-care routines and where we may be struggling. It’s a homerun for me because I get to connect with a long-distance friend, AND she reminds me to focus on myself during the busy times.
Try Something New: Meditation has always been intimidating to me. Probably because I don’t like sitting in silence in my thoughts for very long. However, in restarting my self-care routine, I wanted to give it a try. So, I committed to 10 minutes a day using the Waking Up with Sam Harris app. The app is not free, but it does keep me accountable (see number 4). It’s also been something to look forward to each day, as I am learning not only how to meditate but also how to be more present and how to connect to small moments of consciousness throughout the day.
Focus on Today: When I was first starting out on my self-care journey, I tried really hard to set a morning and evening routine. However, I found that I didn’t always want or even need the same things every day. Instead, I made a list of all the ways I like to show myself love or practice self-care. Then, when at some point in the day, I would simply ask myself “What do I need today?” Some days, I needed to get in a sweaty workout. Other times, I needed a good cry. Maybe, I just need to get out of the house, go for a drive and listen to music on full blast. Whatever I decided, it helped me stay grounded and centered.
My hope is that everyone reading this can walk away with something that will make their self-care routine more accessible and not just one more thing to check of your inevitably long to-do list. My last tip -- be gentle with yourself. You are worthy of your own time and attention.
~Emily Clay, Senior Recruiter, Mommy, Wife & Misspacklight Contributor